At the Pool

Today Miss Slater shared a recount with us that she wrote about her trip to Huia Pools. Miss Slater told us that when she was up to her third paragraph she began to get bored, and it definitely came through in her writing! We worked as a class to help improve Miss Slater's paragraph...

Boring Paragraph

Then we put the jackets on. We got in the water. I liked wearing it. I moved around the pool. It was fun.

G4's New and Improved Paragraph

After a few minutes I put my life jacket on with excitement. We jumped into the sparkling blue water. The life jacket felt wet and soggy but I knew I was going to be safe. I floated around with my friends. It was totally awesome.

 

Afterward, we independently wrote a conclusion to her recount. Here are some sensational conclusions that Miss Slater was REALLY impressed with...

Time flew by and before I knew it the whistle blew. "Ahh," it gave me such a fright I nearly jumped out of my jacket! When I got out of the sparkling, blue water I was dripping wet from head to toe. With every step I took buckets of water seemed to drip off me. One minute went by and I was in the changing room. The first thing I did was dry my wet, soggy hair that was dripping down my back as fast as lightning. In 5 minutes I shot out of the changing rooms like a cannon. I sat down in my class line desperate to tell my partner what a awesome day I had had.

By Jasmine

When the deafening whistle went off all I could think of was why? We were just in the middle of a starfish competition! Minutes later we were all out and unzipping our soggy life jackets. We threw them on the floor that was covered with puddles of water. We were all soon out of the pool. Seconds later we were heading for the crowded changing rooms. "What a swim!" I thought. Maybe we could finish the star fish competition next time?

By Star

Before I knew it Mrs Pringle called us out of the water. I thought "Noooo! How could it end so soon?" Eventually I got over it. I couldn't wait to go to camp and use the life jackets again. When we were walking back I told my walking buddy (Matt) all about the great fun I had had with the life jackets. He looked at me with a face of jealousy and said "I wish I was in your group!"

By Cameron

My Powell blew his whistle. Everyone hopped out of the pool. There were a few pushes and shoves. I got into the changing rooms. It took a while to get dressed. I rushed out side to get to the front of the line. I sat down. I was cold and my hair was dripping wet. Annaliese cam and sat down next to me. Suddenly we started talking about how fun and great the swim was.

By Harriet

Splash! Splash! We were having so much fun but time was ticking. "Two minutes left, oh no!" Finally it was time to hop out. While I jumped out I took one last glimpse back at the clear, sparkling blue water. Afterward, I brought my bag into the changing room. I shuffled along with my towel. When I was changed I strolled outside. I was as cold as a iceberg. I couldn't wait until Thursday.

By Jayda

I hopped out of the pool. I was freezing, it felt like I was in a refrigerator. When I got dressed I whispered to my friends, "that was the BEST DAY EVER!"

By Paige